A Man.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

I would like to share something written by Richard Jones. I think it should provide some insight to some of the challenges we face in our lives today.

Alas, our society is one in which a man is far more frequently measured by his looks, job, status symbols, gift-giving, sex appeal, or tough-guy exterior. ....people are all too inclined to look on the outward appearance when trying to decide what manner of man someone is. Consequently, it is nearly always the case that little more is expected of a man than that he has "good" looks, a "good" wardrobe, a "good" job, some or all of the most fashionable material "goods," and that he is a "good" provider, a "good" sex partner, a "good" fighter, or just able to show a woman a "good" time. It is long after a man has been judged on the basis of such 'cryteria' that serious consideration (usually too little too late) is given to whether his inner man is as good as his public image.

Few people are wise and patient enough to measure a man by "where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." Most people are content to see that a man is "cool" merely when he is self-indulged and self-satisfied. Even women seeking male partners do little or nothing to learn how a man might hold up under the weltering heat of adversity. Despite the problems and perils of having a fair-weather friend or fair-weather "lover," most of a man's so-called friends and lovers will have forged relationships with him without tarrying to observe his character while he is enduring trials and tribulations.

Regardless, the most important things about a man are revealed by how he conducts himself when he is displeased, distraught, or distressed. It is easy for a man to get along with others and project strength of character when he thinks the going is good. It is easy for him to have a great attitude when he thinks life, kith, and kin are treating him well. It is easy for him to be Mr. Right when he does not perceive that there is anything wrong (with him!). And it is easy to allow ourselves to think that favorable circumstances is the best light under which to see a man for who he is. But a man who is always at his worst during the worst of times doth not a good man make. A man at his best gives the best of himself even during the most trying times of his life - even when he is suffering and struggling with the issues of life. A good man, that is, brings forth good things from the good treasure of his heart regardless of the situation.

Such is not common sense. Most people believe that hard times are excuses for exhibiting character flaws and weaknesses rather than opportunities to (show that one has) overcome them. Besides, the logic continues, no one is perfect, so it is only realistic and far more likely that a man will "not be himself" under the stress and strain of difficult and demanding situations. So a man's acting "out of character" is constantly overlooked and forgiven inspite of the other lives he wounds and wrecks. He is a "good man," they say, even though he can be counted on to make poor decisions when he is under pressure or just downright peeved.

...For most men in our society this is a revolutionary approach to conflict resolution and character recognition, especially since it demands of each of us a thorough and ongoing reassessment of our sense of self. We grew up thinking that a "real" man does not take any stuff and gets his way by almost any means necessary. We also grew up thinking that the more imposing, intimidating, impervious, and independent we are, the more people, especially women and children, would think of us as "the man." However, a man who can only resort to aggression is not any more resourceful and redoubtable than an insecure ignoramus who attempts to use vituperation to cloak his vacuity and limited vocabulary. That a man must coerce others into letting him have his way does not mean he is strong. It means that he is too weak and insecure to meet them on the level playing field of equality and mutual respect.

... open our eyes to the realization that true men of stature are strong enough in mind and spirit and secure enough in ourselves to be compassionate and considerate of others even in the midst of confusion, crises, and the crucible of unrequited love; to admit and amend our own faults as well as forgive others; to repay evil with good; to be insulted but insult not; to be angry and yet sin not; to dialog rather than dictate; to be deep enough to delight in diversity and enlightened enough to live and let live.

...Adopting such an approach to dealing with adversity, a man distinguishes himself from the great mass and majority of misguided males who believe kindness is a weakness. He joins the company of courageous men from around the world who are no longer fearful of being friendly and fair through thick and thin.

Well, you get the point. Too long to put it all. Otherwise, nobody will read. [I think I need to start selling fish in the market to encourage all of you to read Haha.]